Got tagged by DATS...

Oh well, let’s begin…

“Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about himself or herself. People who get tagged need to write a blog entry of their own as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to tag 6 people as well and list their names. Don’t forget to let them know they’ve been tagged!”

6. Food - Before I became serious in gyming, I had this weird thing for food-combinations... I dont know if any of you will find this weird, but my friends do... and (some) once they get to try it, they kind of understand why I find it yummy... (ie. gravy mixed with catsup, french fries and ice-cream, potato chips dipped on creamy corn kernels, spaghetti as pizza toppings, crushed tortilla chips on spaghetti...)

5. Gadgets - Im such a techie-freak. I have to be updated with the latest techie stuff around. This is not uncommon anymore because, being a tech-geek is now cool... whats weird about this is that I treat my techie stuff as people... I give them names, "their" birthday and "our" monthsary is dated from the day when I brought them, I give them a good "wiping" after every use... (insert * naughty * smile here... hehehe)

4. TV Shows - I've met a couple of people who get weirded out (and sometimes, offended) in my distaste for local tv shows. Frankly, I dont consider it weird... its just a matter of preference I guess... but meeting alot of people who find it weird makes me think otherwise... hehehe

3. Books - Even before PowerBooks entered our local market, I would spend soooooo much time in bookstores. Usually when I go Malling, I would dedicate an hour (at least) or more inside a bookstore, browsing through titles, reading books, and deciding whether to buy the book or not. Not really weird, but its become a ritual already; Another one, growing up, I wasnt your typical kid... my attraction to books made me an outcast in school (anyway thats another story)... i would normally spend most of my time reading books in the library... I was that kid you would see carrying non-academically-related books in school... =) but hey... at least Im not some dumb jock who has gone way past his HS years as the cool kid... (ehrm.. bitter... hehehe)

2. Earphone/Headphone "Fetish" - I am addicted to music. Dont really have a wide-appreciation for all types of music, but I can go with the flow with just about any music (say Filipiniana...)... The thing is, being an audiophile, I find myself buying different portable players, earphones/headphones... and recently, bluetooth stereo headphones. I know most of them gives the same sound quality... but I cant help myself to not purchase earphones/headphones most of the time (a fetish, used in the lighter sense)... as of now, I have around 10 wired headphones (most of them Philips), 5 earphones (again most of them Philips) and 2 bluetooth stereo headphones... crazy? yeah I know...

1. What I find most weird about me... I have the "Jekyll and Hyde" complex. I have this two opposing personalities... Im not saying Im crazy... its just that I find myself being a different individual in certain circumstances... I can be crazy, "bitchy" on one occassion... and angelic, sensitive on another...

-- Well there you have it... DATS was right, this was difficult... Its being honest and at the same time, I find myself to not make me look "weirder" than the usual... hehehe

Anway... Im tagging the following people

~ eya
~ pam
~ frances
~ makoy
~ lordartworks
~ supermanix

i think i deserve better...

now i finally know the truth...

and im sad...

coz ive fallen deeply in love with you...

--

image credits Sad Wombat In Snow by ursulav @ deviantart

What a week...

I really dont know where to start...

Hmmm...

Lets do work stuff first...

Last Tuesday... My boss talked to me about my getting regularized... after four months in the company, his recommendation to regularize me shot through... so that means a "small" salary increase and more work load... crud... =(

Wasnt really giddy about getting regularized... for me, it just meant that everything is now offiicial... im officially a sell-out... * sigh *

Well we'll see what the next few months will bring...

Yesterday, received a mail from our department head... apparently he has selected me (and a couple of more guys from our dept) to spearhead the banner making for a company-outing on Saturday. Was really pleasant to take a breather from the usual work stuff... so I busied myself with brainstorming... came up with a design, and took to work right after lunch.

Was done with the initial sketches at around the afternoon. Finished putting the final design patterns this morning, painted it (with major help from a couple of guys on our floor). Looking at it... I'd say not a bad job... had a lot of different reactions... and it looks like we were able to please everyone. Just didnt get a chance to take a picture of it though.

Hope we get recognition for that banner. =)

----

Moving on... Gym-crush stuff...

Last week... Faith introduced me to my gym-crushie... lets call him... Tall-J...

I've had a huge crush on Tall-J since he started his job there in Fitness First (yes, he's a Fitness Instructor)... though my friends dont find him really that attractive... I do.. and its really weird... because I cant take my eyes off him... hes tall (at 5'11), hes maputi, has a cute smile (with braces)... and humble (has an aura of really?-im-cute?)

Anyway, since Monday he's been hanging out alot with me... chatting and all...
and frankly I find that Im more drawn to him than I was before...

First encounter : Monday; Cross-Trainers

Me and Faith were doing our usual routine on the cross-trainers... he passes by and greets me... now according to Faith, he only greeted me and not her... =) haha

Faith leaves... and my college-friend/gym-bud Pam came... she went ahead to do her routine also... then Tall-J passes again... this time he asked me... "Birthday mo?", I said no... apparently red shirts have a connotation that its the persons birthday...

Second encouter : Tuesday; Treadmill, Resistance Area

All ready for gym, went to the fountain near the instructors office... on my way there, I spotted Tall-J, and I gave him a smile and a hand wave... and he returned one too... now that alone could have my day...

It got better...

Now while doing speed-walking on the treadmill, I noticed that from the first treadmill he went to the treadmill on my right side... and... he started chatting away...

And I really got immersed in our conversation... learned quite alot of personal stuff about him...

After my speed-walking I went on to the resistance area...

He followed, and even assisted me on one of the machines...

During this interaction, I said, "Di ko pa nga nahahawakan lahat ng machines dito eh."

And he jokingly replied, "Ah ganon ba... simple lang... eh di gawin mo 'to.", while touching some nearby equipments.

Now he was being "pilosopo" there... but being "pilosopo" with someone you newly met...

That sets a red flag somewhere... Either he finds talking to me comfortable or something else...

Third encounter; Thursday; Treadmill, Resistance Area

Was doing my treadmill routine... he stayed on the left side of my treadmill...

And started chatting up again...

The difference with this chat was that he brought up this person that Faith wanted to introduce to him...

Tall-J : Did you know that Faith asked me if was a bi... I was kinda offended when she asked me that.

Me : Really? Faith asked you that?

Tall-J : Yeah, told her that Im straight. Then she asked, "so your straight?"... and I answered of course.

At this point, I was already bummed out. But I guess it was all for the better to know that right away before I did something stupid. Then Tall-J shifts his topic... he starts...

Tall-J : Do you know this person that Faith wanted to introduce to me? She said that this person has a boyfriend and that... ehrm... has a crush on me.

Me : Uuhhhmmm, not really. Why?

Tall-J : Ahh... recalling last week, Faith only introduced me to four people.... Three from the lobby, and you on the second floor.

Me : Ahh... really? So Faith has introduced you to alot of people already.

At that point, I really didnt know what to say already... just had to change the topic already...

After our chat, the thought of him asking those questions really bothered me.

Its either he's just telling a story or he was "fishing" for information on what Faith said from me.

* sigh *

Fourth encounter; Friday; Treadmill, Second Floor

On the treadmill,

Tall-J : Hey... sup? What did you tell Faith? She kept on saying that I told on her...

Me : Ehrm... I just told here what we talked about yesterday...

I thought he was pissed (then again why would he be)...

Tall-J : I know the person that Faith was describing... Its you right? Your the one with the boyfriend?

Me : Ehrm... uhhhm... greeeeeaaaaatttt.

Tall-J : Its you right?

Me : Ehrm... uhhmmm...

He turns around with an unusual smile on his face. He then proceeded to move to the treadmill on my left. He asked "permission" he was just gonna leave for a while.

At around 730, Pam joined me for a round in the cross-trainers.

Went up to look at some classes. Saw him.

Pam left me with her water cup, and asked if I could fill it up for her. I did... and positioned myself in front of the door, watching the Body Pump class that was being held. Then Pam came.

He stood beside me...

Tall-J : I thought that glass of water was for me.

Me : Nah... its for my friend.

Then I smiled at him.

Didnt see his reaction, cause Pam was trying to hold her laugh.

* hay *

I really dont know what to think...

Is he flirting with me? or is he just beeing extra friendly?

Thing is, Im interpreting his actions as being interested...

And that kinda makes it bad for me, because I tend to be attached with people who seem interested in me... whether it be romantically or just friends.

Its hard seeing and talking to Tall-J everyday.

But I cant get myself to stop from looking and talking to him. Its just not my character to just snob someone.

This is a dilemna...

But a good one at that...

* sigh *

Even now as Im writing this, Im cooking up an idea on how to see him tom... and muster up the courage to ask him for coffee or something...

Arrrggghh...

He's driving me nuts...

Well with this week being like this, I wonder how next week will be for me in the gym.

Been surfing on some sites this lunch time...

Found an upcoming movie... The Golden Compass http://www.goldencompassmovie.com/

Plot of the movie looks promising...
Got giddy when I found out that Daniel Craig * drools * and Nicole Kidman will be in it...

Anyway the site had a know-your-daemon kinda thing... took it... and gave me some very interesting results...

So do you guys agree with my daemon?

Random postings...

Hmm... quite close...

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are lively, dramatic, and flamboyant. You have an outrageous personality... And you secretly resent anyone who makes you tone it down. Underneath it all, you are driven by your need for attention and acceptance. You need to feel special at all times. You are secretly jealous and occasionally insecure.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

Got a new toy... =)

The newest addition to my Motorola Family...

I present... my new Motoroloa Bluetooth Wireless Stereo DJ Headphones S805...

I soooo love the box... pretty big... just how I like my gadgets packed...

The inside packing is a bit disappointing though... very minimal... the headphones on top, the carrying case underneath it...

* sigh *

anyway here it is... my new headphones...

pretty aint she?

The carrying case is made of a different material from the carrying case of my HT820...

Frankly I liked the other one better...


The complete package...


Will take this baby for a test run tomorrow at the gym...

Hmmm... will also try to post a review after...

Anyway... nothing much to say now... just quite giddy about my new toy... I just had to take a couple of pictures and post it here... =)

I really enjoyed today... Me and bryan are in a nice place now... relationship wise...

He came over at around 12 noon... we had lunch here... I microwaved his favorite chicken nuggets and longganisa... and he brought beef stewe from a nearby canteen...

Was kinda feeling crappy at first... because he kept on insisting that we eat lunch together, but I really wasnt in the eating mood (on a diet you see) ... me being the good boyfriend... I opted to accept his offer...

After lunch... we rested for a bit... watched tv...

An hour and a half after... I noticed that he fell asleep... he shifted his position to embrace me...

Thing is... for the first time in a long time... I felt that he was being a sweet boyfriend... he was opening up... slowly... taking baby steps...

I couldnt resist... I inserted my hand on the back of his shirt... and it felt so good to touch that part of his body again...

But I knew... what I wanted cant happen... at least not now... I dont want him to think that Im taking advantage of the fact that he's sleeping and I can just do whatever...

So I pulled back... but slowly...

I diverted my attention to watching tv... "The New Adventures of Old Christine" was on... so I opted to watch that...

He then shifted his position... he hugged me tighter and locked his legs around my legs...

a little more closer...

I felt his heart beating ...

And... that felt so good...

He shifted again... turning his head away from me... he looked for my arm and rested his head on it...

* sigh *

the afternoon could have not gotten any better...

He made me feel what I wanted to feel... its as if he was reading my mind...

It was partially what I was looking for today...

He woke up... asked what the time was... 245PM...

he needed to go home already...

was quite sad...

He saw that I was sad... we talked for a bit...

Finally got clarified on something... told me that I need not wait long (pertaining on intimacy...)

I was right all along... he's talking everything one step at a time...

I was putting pressure on him... I said Ill wait... I know I can...

Before he left... he gave me the tightest hug... he kissed me, wasnt a passionate kiss though, but it had something... something different...

And from there I knew that our relationship has taken another step forward...

I simply cant wait for next week... Ill be visiting his new place...

We were talking about something... he asked what perfume I was wearing today (Black by Kenneth Cole)... he asked if he could have it... I gave it to him... that simple...

I told him... "Im giving you my favorite perfume..." he replied... 'I dont really have your perfume... what I do have... is you..."...

now something in that statement was sweet... kinda... not really sure...

I tend to over-analyze things... I kept on thinking "was that a line?"...

Its been a little less than two hours since he left... and looking back... that was certainly something that I would remember from him...

* sigh *

Wish he didnt have to leave though...

Another loooong and boring week...

Hmmm... I seem to be feeling this way towards week for some quite time now, maybe Im growing tired of it...

that or gym-ing has finally taken its toll on me...

Anyway...

Was supposed to blog last wednesday about TINTIN but work got in the way and I ended up not posting at all...

Been a TINTIN fan since I was a kid...

I think this was the first comic book that Ive ever read (and still read whenever Im in Antipolo)...

I remember whenever my mom brings me to her clinic in manila, we would always go by Alemars (an old bookstore in Manila...) and buy a TINTIN comic book...

I think I have most of them (16 out of the 24 listed)... wasnt able to collect the whole series... Alemars was shut down and as far as I knew then, it was the only store that carried the comic book... until now, when I go to some bookstores... I dont see most of them selling TINTIN comic books...

I sooo love TINTIN... his adventures around the world as a young globe-trotting reporter made me fall in love with world history, made me appreciate EUROPEAN humor (not being brazzen-faced or anything, but most people I know... they dont get EUROPEAN humor)...

So... when I came upon a link on Yahoo about TINTIN being planned to be made into a live/cg movie... I was sooo giddy... plust... two famous, sought-after directors have already committed in making the first two of the three movies planned... one is Mr. Steven Speilberg and Mr. Peter Jackson.



According to the article (guess youll just have to google it... I already lost the link/s)... both are looking for a third director for the Tintin Trilogy...

Im soooo excited for this one... hope they come out with good story lines... the Tintin series was brought on story lines more than the art...

Sigh... I remember those days when I would be spending every weekend when I was a kid (and on early teenage years)... reading through a TINTIN comic book over and over...

And it never bored me...

I would recommend everyone to try to get a copy of any TINTIN comic book... for sure you'd like it... (and ehrm... if ever you find a store that sells TINTIN comic books... I would really appreciate it if any of you would tell me... thanks... )

For Tintin resource... visit tintinologist.org

---

Well gyming yesterday was pretty interesting...

I mentioned last week that I was able to spend some time with my gym-bud Faith...

I told her that I had a huge crush on Joel, an FI in my gym...

Well... apparently... she squeelled on me...

I dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing... but it certainly got Joels attention (I think)...

So yesterday... Faith formally introduced me to Joel... the thing is I dont know what Joel knows... Faith hasnt really clarified what she told Joel...

I was quite embarassed when Faith introduced me to Joel... I didnt know how to react...

All I could remember was making an akward-wave saying hi... and shook his hand... thats it.. I couldnt exactly remember how he looked like while Faith was introducing him to me...

Pam told me he was smiling...

I dont know exactly what that smile means... I just hope whatever that meant, its a good one...

Will have to do damage-control now...

Need to re-introduce myself to Joel... I feel I looked like a total girly-spaz yesterday...

Think high-school crush...

* sigh *

I know I shouldnt be feeling like this... especially to another guy...

Its the same feeling I had when I first met Bryan...

I cant get him out of my mind...

Things are shaking up... and I dont want to ruin whatever me and Bryan have...

But then again... Joel is really cute... and he seems mabait...

Hay...

This thing with Bryan... its driving me nuts...

add Joel to the scene and my minds totally going haywire...

* screams *

---

Anyway got to turn in now... will have to read a few more chapters from the book before I sleep...

Bryans coming over tom...

I wonder what drama tom will bring...

I feel alone.

I dont really know why.

But I do.

Despite the people around me.

Despite the people that love me.

Despite the people that care for me.

Why is it that I feel alone?

Why is there an emptiness inside of me?








photo credits alone by buaiansayapanomali @ deviantart

Pinoy Gay Blogs...

Was suppose to do a blog post about this site a couple of weeks ago. Was too ashamed of my blog... so I started tweaking it and dedicated myself to frequently update it.

And so far, blogging has become a regular thing with me. So I hope to continue writing here. =)

Anyway Pinoy Gay Blogs is an opener. It made me realize that Im not alone in the metro (though I know it naman). Its a place where you can find other bloggers/journal writers who share the same sentiments, share the same stories, share the same experiences in our bi/gay world.

Im glad to say that I want to be a part of that group. A group where at least I can share my world free from prejudice and superficiality.

So for all other gay/bi bloggers/journal writers... link us up... join the community @ http://pinoygayblogs.com/ .

What a differene a week makes. Last week, it all seemed that we're ok. And this weekend is entirely different,

---

My past has come back to bite me in the ass.

Yesterday, Bryan came over.

We didnt have the usual niceties... what we had instead was an akward silence.

With our food in place, we headed up to my room.

We sat down on my bed... I was waiting for him to talk.

Then... he said, "Lika... kain na muna tayo.". I wasnt in the mood to eat.

I stared at him while he was eating... waiting...

I was actually scared...

After 5 excruciating minutes of waiting... he started talking...

"Gerald... Im disappointed with you... ang liit ng mundo noh?... Mahal na mahal kita, kaya nasasaktan ako dahil sa nalaman ko. Parepareho lang pala kayong lahat."

I asked... he explained...

I could see from the way he was narrating that he was hurt, angry and very disappointed...

"Ano ba ang gusto mo na setup? Sige payagan kita na makipagchat, maghanap ng temporary fix mo... but dont expect that from me."

I couldnt find any words to protect me to help me out of the hole that Ive dug.

I was guilty... point blank.

You see... in the first few months of our relationship... I wasnt sure about us...

We were intimate once, (intimate pertaining to more than kissing)... before we became a couple.

After we became a couple... everything changed.

Yes we would still be kissing. We would be hugging. We would be holding hands.

But we never shared the bed the same way (that only time) we did before.

I was distraught because he blatantly said that "Its something that he's not really that comfortable of doing.".

And everytime I would bring that up, we would always end up arguing.

Lessons learned - Dont push for that. - I understood. So I stopped talking about it with him.

On the surface, it looked like we were ok. But inside I was screaming... asking why...

He says... he loves me... but with that specific "need", I questioned his sincerity.

During that time, I couldnt confide with him... I couldnt confide with anyone...

So I turned to chatting.

Met some guys and had a few "one-nighters".

Yeah, Im a slut. I get that.

But those times, I felt that I was wanted... not loved exactly... but wanted.

It was a temporary fix.

I know our situation is not an excuse.

But I still did it anyway.

Its hard when you dont get intimacy with the person that you love. And living with it for the past 9 months. It really sucks. Masakit. I feel as if he neglects that part of our relationship.

And frankly... masakit. Sobra.

Anyway...

I was crying yesterday. I was scared of what the day was about to bring.

I was saying sorry. I was begging for forgiveness.

He wasnt speaking.

He was laying on his side and watching tv now... He said... "Ok na."

Thats all...

I was bewildered by that situation.

I went beside him. Hugged hiim. But I was still crying.

I was crying because... "I was happy that he forgave me and at the same time I was disappointed at myself for hurting him.".

I didnt mean to hurt him naman.

It made me sad to know that he thought that I would be the person that he would be giving "IT" to. Giving in to what I want because he loves me.

I dont know where the situation brings us on that aspect now. I feel that whatever progress we had just went down the drain.

So we spent an hour hugging... he fell asleep.

I found myself asking... "Do I really deserve him?" and yet at the same time I also thought "Why cant you?"

He's not the villain of the story. After what I did.

But yeah... "may pagkukulang sya".

Its not the only thing I want from him. Its just a part of it. Its just part of being in a "RELATIONSHIP".

And Im still a GUY to look for it. =(

When he woke up, its as if he was a different person. He wasnt angry anymore. But I bet he was still disappointed.

I didn want to let go of him, but i knew I couldnt make him stay. I never could.

We left each other feeling a bit ok. Trying to turn things back to normal.

I promised him that I would never ever do it again. I committed myself to him again, only exclusive to each other.

But Im finding it so hard na magtiis.

Again...

not to be able to passionately kiss you...

not to be able to sleep beside you...

not to be able to be intimate with you...

Masakit.

But I have to hold all of those in.

Because I love him so much and the thought of losing him scares me.

Sounds martyr-ish? Yeah... it does.

But thats how I really feel.

Long... the hours this week seem to last forever.

After the looong wait... at last, its Friday... well an hour more and its gonna be Saturday already. =)

Anyway, work was in its usual place. Long, repetitive and boring.

Last Wednesday afternoon, my boss asked me (and another team-mate) to meet up in his cubicle for my assesment. Its been only 4 months since Ive started... looks like Im doing a good job.

During our meeting, I was asked about my impressions on the workplace, team-mates, co-employees and all that...

as usual, I was my honest self...

told him that its been "strangely pleasant"... the people are good (well some), the workplace its really quiet, quite stiff though...

but im not one who enjoys working in a "corporate" setup... frankly... im not really a big fan... but the past four months have been "strangely pleasant"...

im enjoying work...

im enjoying the company of my team-mates...

im enjoying the concept of "life-work-balance" that the company promotes...

for once, corporate life seems ok...

Then... he drops the bomb...

If in any instance that I (we) get regularized... there will be some expectations, of course I understand that...

heavier work loads...

heavier time schedules...

heavier deadlines...

I get that... but those are the thing that Im really avoiding... and Im not really looking forward to those...

I know that when regularization comes... MY schedules will be affected... GYM will be affected...

which I dont really like...

Im happy where Im at now... do we need to change that?

----

Money comes in... mones goes out... its that fast.

Got my salary today... headed for GlobeLines Center to pay for my GlobeLines and Globe HandyPhone bill at lunch.

That really took a good bite on my salary =(. Now I know how it feels.

Weirdly enough, I felt like a grown-up paying for my utility bills. Well I am 24, technically I should have been a grown-up 4 years ago, but I try to "deny" the fact that I am a grown up.

Me thinks I have the Peter Pan complex. Probably...

After running my errand, I went around to look for Resistance Training Gloves and a gym bag. Was planning to buy Nike gloves, but theyre quite expensive... so I opted to take an alternate route and got a pair of (generic) Resistance Training Gloves. Found these at Landmark... cheap enough, but looks sturdy though...


Next on my list was a gym bag. I found one in Dickies but they had none that fit my liking. The gym bag that I looked at was just big. I looked around again and I found this red/black-combo Accel gym bag, looks nice and the size of the bag was what I was exactly looking for.. plus the price doesnt really hurt the wallet either.


After my limited shopping spree, my hands were itching to spend... I dont know what go into me... but I want another phone.

In my mind, Ive already shortlisted the phones that I would love to get my hands on. (L-R Sony Ericsson P1, Sony Ericsson w880i, Moto Rizr Z8 and Moto Rokr E6)

Moving away from mobile phones... isnt this just cute?


The 1 Gig Zen Stone, priced at $ 40.00, roughly P 2000.00.Ipod Shuffle (2nd Gen) killer? Competitor most likely... Wouldnt hesitate to get me one of these though.

---

Went gyming after work (as usual).

Was quite fun, there were few gym-ers.

Saw my gym-crushie... quite bummed out that I didnt see my other gym-crushie... =(

After gym, I ran into Faith... got carried away with our conversation that I ended up riding in a cab with her to her place. Was really fun catching up with her. I never really expected that someone like her would actually want to be my friend. =)

Dont worrry Faith, everything will work out. Boys are just boys, you can get anyone you want... * sigh * wish I could say the same for me...

Ehrm...

I have a bf pala...

---

Speaking of which, Bryan has been acting weird for the past few days...

Weird texts.. weird topics... I dont know whats gotten into my baby...

Im actually scared... I dont know what to think... (will put this into another entry when we've straighten things out)

Im just glad that well be seeing each other tom... he'll be spending the whole day at home again...

I really hope that Mom and Dad goes to Antipolo early...

Me and my baby need some quality time together...

---

Anyway, have to turn end this post... its getting quite lengthy already... and I need to catch up on my reading. =)

Its been a long time coming...



And I think I can finally say that I feel the same way...

----

Each Other
Katherine McPhee

Oh-wow
Yeah, yeah

No more lonely nights to hurt me
No more tears left to spare
No more reasons to be unhappy
You threw them all up in there air

And I don't know how you did it
But you made me a believer
I never thought that love could turn someone into a dreamer
For the first time in my life I don't feel like a need a breather
'Cause everywhere I'm gonna go I wanna know you're gonna be there



I'd give it all up for you (I'd give it all up for you)
Do anything you asked me to (Anything you asked me to)
You're like a pillow I can hold on to
Cause we got each other
We got each other

Now that this has gone away
You left me here without a trace
And now I'm in a brand new place
'Cause we got each other
We got each other, yeah

And some times in the past almost pulled us under
But we got through all that and it made us stronger
Through the good, through the bad
There just ain't another
You're the best thing I have and we got each other

When the harder times confront me
You always show me that you care, yeah
And I believe you are my rescue
When I see you right there
(So when I see you right there)

And I don't know how you did it but you made me a believer (Beliver)
I never thought that love could turn someone into a dreamer (Dreamer)
For the first time in my life I don't feel like a need a breather
'Cause everywhere I'm gonna go I wanna know you're gonna be there

I'd give it all up for you
Do anything you asked me to (Anything you asked me to)
Anything you asked me to
You're like a pillow we can hold on to
'Cause we got each other
Baby we got each other

Now that this has gone away (Now this has gone away)
You left me here without a trace (You left me here without a trace)
And now I'm in a brand new place
'Cause we got each other
We got each other

You are the hand that I reach for
When I don't want to be alone
You are the voice I hear at night
Lets me know I'll be alright

When I need a real good friend
Don't have to look far
You're the best
I'm safe here in your arms
And I know this is where I belong

'Cause I'd give it all up for you
Do anything you asked me to (Anything you asked me to)
You're like a pillow I can hold on to (Hey)
'Cause we got each other
Baby we got each other

Now that this has gone away (It's gone away)
You left me here without a trace (Trace)
And now I'm in a brand new place (I'm in a brand new place)
'Cause we got each other
Baby we got each other

No matter what happens we got each other
Had some times in the past but we got each other
Through the good through the bad we still got each other
Really happy or sad but we got each other

I'd give it all up for you (Oh-oh)
Do anything you asked me to (Oh-oh)
You're like a pillow I can hold on to (Oh-oh)
'Cause we got each other
We got each other (Yeah, yeah)

Now that this has gone away
You left me here without a trace (Hey)
And now I'm in a brand new place
'Cause we got each other
Baby we got each other

And some times in the past almost pulled us under (Oh-oh)
But we got through all that and it made us stronger (Oh-oh)
Through the good, through the bad (Oh-oh)
There just aint another
You're the best thing I have and we got each other...

One for the road before I turn in for the night.

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Im officially loading crap on my page... hehehe =)

Good night everyone...

Need to catch my zzzzz's.

Last night, I was able to catch "The Greatest Game Ever Played" starring Shia LaBeouf on Star Movies.


Its your typical Walt Disney - Underdog to success story. Shia plays real-life underdog (commoner) golf extraordinaire Francis Ouimet. Who despite social / economic barriers won the tourney.

I got to say, Shia has been growing on me.

Ever since I saw him on "Even Stevens", I knew he was one of those rare actors...


I actually got the feeling that he's the male-Hillary Duff.

Been browsing through the net about him and I got to read this profile on a Fan Site, http://www.shialabeouf.us/.

Interesting. Very interesting.
Shia is born, Shia Saide LaBeouf on June 11, 1986. Dads a cajun circus clown and Mom is a jewish american ballerina. Interestingly enough, you would see how this actor got his career start... he browsed through a phone book looked for an agent, called, auditioned and was signed.

Now thats unusual.

One thing that caught my attention was the fact that he has a tattoo on his right wrist that says "1986-2004."
Explaining the tatoo, he quotes "I feel like my childhood was kind of lost. It was adulthood right away. I feel like you forget a lot of your childhood so I put the timeline on my wrist. I just don't want to forget the childhood I did have.".

Very very cool.

Im liking him more already.

List of movie credentials include the upcoming Indiana Jones IV and Transformers, the suspense thriller Disturbia (which Im set to watch, if it is ever played out on the cinema's again), Bobby (to which the cast won an Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture for the Screen Actors Guild and Ensemble of the Year for the Hollywood Film Festival), A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints (to which he won The Best Actor Award in Gijón International Film Festival), Constantine, I, Robot, The Battle Of Shaker Heights, Charlies Angels : Full Throttle, Holes and a couple of more.

Anyway I can say that I'm a fan of Mr. LaBeouf.

He's got this leading-man quality like John Cusack... very subtle... and very serious... yet humble.

Plus, he's a total cutie.

May 05 2007.

This day was supposed to be perfect.

I planned everything out.

What movie we were gonna watch.

Where we were gonna eat after.

How I was suppose to give my gift.

What time we were suppose to meet.

I had a bad feeling that everything I planned out wasnt going to go smoothly today.

And true enough.

It didnt.

I was suppose to meet Bryan in Powerbooks, GB3 at around 5 pm.

I was checking the clock in my room... 3:30. He hasnt texted yet. I was already worried. Thinking of the worst possible scenario.

15 minutes after he replied to my last text... "8 pm tayo meet. Pero mukhang malabo pa.".

- Back story - His dad kept him from going out earlier. Actually its a long story... lets just say it has something to do with US, his family and their being a Born Again family.

I was disappointed. I was expecting the worst.

At around 5:30, I prepared for our date. Fixed my bed, prepared my clothes, took out my new shoes and took a bath.

After, I texted him... "Beh... am dressing up already. Will be leaving in 15 minutes. Where and what time are we going to meet?"

He replied saying that we will be meeting at 8:00 in front of Powerbooks, GB3.

I smiled... at least I know matutuloy kami.

We met at around 8:30 pm. Already cancelled our 9:10 schedule because I know we wont make it.

Unfortunately... we ran a short errand before buying our 9:50 ticket. We arrived at the ticket counter at exactly 9:10 (my watch). The sales person told me that our reservation has been forfeited. For crying out loud... what more could have gone wrong that time. We should have brought our tiket first before doing our errand. =(

We ended up with a 10:20 schedule. Now theres nothing wrong with that. Whats crappy is that we ended up not seating together. I was seated in front of him. Darn it. =(

We decided to have dinner na lang muna.

We went down to Buddha Bar.

Bryan ordered Crispy Noodles and Dimsum... I ordered Braised Beef Rice Toppings.


Anyway... Bryan was wearing these glasses.

He somewhat reminds me of tiggah's pooh. =)

* hay *


Bryan... my very own pooh... =)

During our dinner. I was feeling a bit down because my plan didnt really work out. He noticed it... and all of a sudden he gave me a kiss. In front of a big crowd. I was soooooo happy. =) Of course, who wouldnt be?

We got around to talk about some of our issues... intimacy issues mostly.

He told me that he's at the stage in his life (and in our relationship) where hes finally being comfortable with "WHAT" we are. It just needs time, i thought... and Im sure I can wait.

Its gonna be hard.

But Im gonna wait.

After all... I love him.

At the end of our dinner, I found him writing something on a tissue paper. He handed it to me.

It says
"Dinner date sa Big Buddha...
Super saya at dami na-open up.
Lalo kami napamahal ng beh ko.
Super sarap ng food... dami nga lang... di ko maubos.
Wow. Its our 9th monthsary.
One of the most unforgettable for me.
Love BJ Mendoza"

Not exactly poetry, nor cohesive... in any way.


But its kinda sweet. =)

By the way... I made a stupid mistake in buying our matching rings. Brought 2 sizes smaller for him... crap.Got to go back tom to have it replaced pa.

He appreciated the sweetness though. =)

We got around to watching the movie. Spiderman 3. Really cool movie. Couldve used a bit more action to it. There was a lot of comedy relief... which was welcomed, but really got most of the airtime.

After the movie, we went home. He stayed for awhile.. he couldnt stay for the night (as usual...) though.

Before he left, we hugged each other tightly. It was one of the mos longest hugs that Ive ever had.

I felt that he didnt want to let go. I for sure didnt want to let go.

But he had to go home.

Really bummed out about that.

Its just a good thing that this night, though not what I planned it to be, it was by far one of the best dates we've ever had. =)

Thanks again baby... =)

I Love You sooo sooo much....