oddity

i may sound bitter with what im about to say...

but its the honest truth...

on observation...

i wonder why some hot straight guys...

go for a little less than mediocre girls/guys...

i just dont get it...

cliche to say, it must be love...

oh pish-tosh...

our brains are wired to be initially physically attracted...

i get that...

so in the order of things...

i know where im leveled on...

but puhlease...

come on...

i personally know of two straight good looking guys...

who have far less than mediocre girl-friends...

one of the girls aint bad...

but far from his level...

the other one...

good lord...

lets just say she doesnt even meet the standards of what

is average...

read - fat, dark and so classless...

fine... im bitter...

this goes the same for guys who have ugly boyfriends...

gawd...

at some level i just cannot fathom the fact...

geez...

and i wonder why im single...

give me enough credit...

i guess i have a right to stand on my own soapbox every now and then...

...

...

its an oddity i tell you...

a strange occurrence of nature...

* bitter *

bittersweet fridays...

my fridays are bittersweet...

friday signals the end of the tiring and long work week...

but also,

friday signals the start of two lonely days...

=(

* sigh *

the thing with karma...

ive always believed in the concept of karma...

but lately it seems that karma is not working the way its s'posed to...

its either that or the world is just fucked up that it allows those
who don't deserve to get 'good' karma...

i think the world is fucked up...

i mean come on, cheaters, players... those that deserve 'bad'
karma - are those the ones that actually get more 'guys'...

i dont wash my hands off anything ive done before...

but compared to most of the 'friends' i know... what ive done
is incomparable to what they've done...

i despise people who lie and those who cheat... and those
who think its ok to do so...

and yet, these are the same people who get to have it all...

and it sucks...

so much...

why cant i have what 'they' have...

dont i deserve a reward for being by-the-book?

for being a relatively good guy...

im going to be selfish and say - yes...

karma... work with me, why dont you...

come on... all im asking for are a couple of breaks...

come on...

please...

being lonely doesnt sit well with me...

it just doesnt...

* sigh *

unchanged...

for the past few months...

i thought that i have changed...

i though life finally gave me a break...

well i thought wrong...

life still plays favorites...

those that have - get more...

and it frustrates me to the core...

dont i deserve that?

just a little bit of what i want...

what i need...

is that too much too ask?

* sigh *