change is constant...
some would welcome it...
some would fear it...
i have been so caught up with the routines of my daily life that i just don't
see myself changing that anytime soon...
but as stated, change is constant...
i just have to learn to accept the fact that it'll be that way soon...
and i wish it wouldn't come to that...
but if it does...
then i need to have a backup plan...
so - do i start looking?
or do i just slump back to being the loner that i used to be?
these are changes...
constant as they are, it doesn't mean i have to accept it...
but eventually i have too...
to change...
* toast *
may ye never be...
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
to you
I thought that with the onset of 'him' in my life...
Id forget about 'you'...
Id be happy and content...
But apparently I'm not...
I'm hanging on to hope...
I just never learned to give-up...
No matter how much painful it is...
To see you every day...
And know the fact that I will never know you more than what we are...
---
Why cant I stop this feeling that jumps out of my chest whenever I see you?
As if the feeling is not enough...
Why is it that Id catch you looking?
Funny, really because I know for sure, you catch me looking at you...
Will words go unspoken between us forever?
The whole world knows how I feel for you...
Isn't it that obvious?
I want to tell you...
Face-to-face...
But as brave as I appear to be...
I don't really think Id be able to risk losing you...
---
If by any possibility that this 'thing' is all in my head...
Then Id rather hear it from you...
At this point you're the only one who can close this chapter...
I could, but Im weak to do so...
---
You're my 'kryptonite'...
You make me weak to the desires of my heart...
You're always an extra 10 miles among the rest...
Yes, you're that special...
Id forget about 'you'...
Id be happy and content...
But apparently I'm not...
I'm hanging on to hope...
I just never learned to give-up...
No matter how much painful it is...
To see you every day...
And know the fact that I will never know you more than what we are...
---
Why cant I stop this feeling that jumps out of my chest whenever I see you?
As if the feeling is not enough...
Why is it that Id catch you looking?
Funny, really because I know for sure, you catch me looking at you...
Will words go unspoken between us forever?
The whole world knows how I feel for you...
Isn't it that obvious?
I want to tell you...
Face-to-face...
But as brave as I appear to be...
I don't really think Id be able to risk losing you...
---
If by any possibility that this 'thing' is all in my head...
Then Id rather hear it from you...
At this point you're the only one who can close this chapter...
I could, but Im weak to do so...
---
You're my 'kryptonite'...
You make me weak to the desires of my heart...
You're always an extra 10 miles among the rest...
Yes, you're that special...
Sunday, February 15, 2009
thinking out loud...
we are plunged into situations where we 'are' forced
to keep to our selves what we really want to say...
this is usually what happens when we become
the 'bigger' and 'better' person...
strange though...
i was never really known to keep my mouth shut...
let alone keep my opinions to myself...
so...
without really getting into trouble...
here are a couple of things off of my head...
things that i would have wanted to tell a couple of people...
on the bitchy side...
- "i don't appreciate being shushed at... worry more about yourself, cause I'm not ashamed of how i talk or act..."
- "so, apparently... you're insecure with me - i wouldn't really have imagined it..."
- "look, you may have 'that' - but I KNOW I'M BETTER LOOKING than you..."
- "at least, I don't lie about the real me..."
on the other side...
- "dude, what are we?"
- "when are we going to stop playing this game?"
- "yes; i want you to know... I LOVE YOU..."
* sigh *
i really don't know why, with my 'attitude' and all fold with being
'angry' with people who are close to me...
maybe because i am so tied up with the reputation that i built as this
all around nice guy...
frack...
i dont know really...
i just always want to be the 'bigger' person and i let 'kharma' deal with
them...
funny how things are now turning...
everything has turned a complete 360 degrees...
note to self : build more confidence...
=)
* just ranting out *
to keep to our selves what we really want to say...
this is usually what happens when we become
the 'bigger' and 'better' person...
strange though...
i was never really known to keep my mouth shut...
let alone keep my opinions to myself...
so...
without really getting into trouble...
here are a couple of things off of my head...
things that i would have wanted to tell a couple of people...
on the bitchy side...
- "i don't appreciate being shushed at... worry more about yourself, cause I'm not ashamed of how i talk or act..."
- "so, apparently... you're insecure with me - i wouldn't really have imagined it..."
- "look, you may have 'that' - but I KNOW I'M BETTER LOOKING than you..."
- "at least, I don't lie about the real me..."
on the other side...
- "dude, what are we?"
- "when are we going to stop playing this game?"
- "yes; i want you to know... I LOVE YOU..."
* sigh *
i really don't know why, with my 'attitude' and all fold with being
'angry' with people who are close to me...
maybe because i am so tied up with the reputation that i built as this
all around nice guy...
frack...
i dont know really...
i just always want to be the 'bigger' person and i let 'kharma' deal with
them...
funny how things are now turning...
everything has turned a complete 360 degrees...
note to self : build more confidence...
=)
* just ranting out *
Monday, February 09, 2009
the good things...
good things rarely happen to me...
when it does...
its either they're short-lived...
or
they're tooooooooooo good to be true...
in this case, it appears to be that of the latter one...
i don't know what will happen...
everything's too early too tell...
all i can say is... i think ill be seeing that good ol' drawing board again...
* sigh *
when it does...
its either they're short-lived...
or
they're tooooooooooo good to be true...
in this case, it appears to be that of the latter one...
i don't know what will happen...
everything's too early too tell...
all i can say is... i think ill be seeing that good ol' drawing board again...
* sigh *
Thursday, February 05, 2009
25 Random Things About Me
Just because a lot has been tagging me.
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.
1) Fact : I am known by different names, brought about by different set of friends and environments; office pips know me as Ge, CSA and DLSU pips know me as GV, gym people (and some dates) know me as Daemon/Mon... but only a few people actually call me by my real name... well actually just one guy... =)
2) Habit : I pretty much run on a scheduled daily routine. I have to be somewhere or have to be doing a certain thing at a particular time. All extra-co's are planned ahead of time. If by chance that I run of course a routine, then it means that I enjoy the shift in schedule.
3) Habit : I'm an addict... a gym addict that is. Its my third home. To sum things up. I'm at the gym at most 6x a week, 3 to 4 hours a day (lunch-break visits excluded) on a weekday, and 4 hours on a weekend. Socializing usually takes off 30mins to an hour.
4) Fact : I'm a 'jack-of-all-trade-and-master-of-none'. I can do a lot of stuff - pretty much good at most, but never can excel in any of them. Go figure, why I'm always lost.
5) Goal : In relation to # 4. I always wanted to become an archaeologist/explorer. Ever since I was a kid, I've been fascinated with history (from dinosaurs to ancient ruins around the world). And would dream of one-day going on an expedition for NatGeo.
6) Fact : Still in relation to # 4. I consider myself to be artistic. Though limited in skill, I still somehow manage to amaze people with what I can do.
7) Fact : I consider myself to be an old-fashion-romantic. Despite the 'world' and 'culture' that I have grown accustomed to, I set myself apart by the 'ideologies' I live by. I used to entertain the thought of ONS, but the idea grew too old for me quickly - now Im more of into dinners,movies,dates and cuddling. =)
8) Fact : I used to not like going to bars. And I have to thank my brus' for tugging me out of my shell. Now, its like I long for it - as opposed to the idea of # 7. Its more of being seen at the right place and by the right people, and of course to dance like there's no worries in the world.
9) Goal : In relation to # 4. I'm a frustrated wannabee (read: celebrity/model/singer). Har har har
10) Fact : I'm a tech-freak. I'm addicted to tech and I got to have them all (read Motorola phones, Bluetooth headphones, ear/headphones, computer peripherals). Now if I only have funds to address this addiction... hmmm.
11) Habit : In relation to # 3. I'm on this 'diet' where I variously eat 2 spoons of rice to a cup (depending on the need), staple buttered mixed-veggies and microwaved produce (read: cold-cuts) for breakfast; filled (butter/peanut/tuna/ham/cheese) sandwich for lunch; oats, staple buttered mixed-veggies, microwaved produce (read: cold-cuts) and sliced fruits for dinner; in between those, I have a cracker or fruit as snack and have a staple herbal juice for breakfast and dinner, commercially-induced slimming drink for lunch, before gym and before sleeping - this I do only on a weekday, on a weekend, its a free-for-all.
12) Fact : My musical guilty pleasures are late 90's and early 00's boy-bands and girl-bands.
13) Fact : My movie guilty pleasures are cheesy tagalog movies; as opposed to public knowledge that I don't watch tagalog movies. But I still stand true to not watch local tv shows.
14) Fact : In relation to # 4. I consider myself to be a pretty much good writer.
15) Habit : In relation to # 9. I often find myself strutting/catwalking. The frustration just naturally comes out.
16) Fact : I hate 'strict' corporate IT life. I have this perception that most are F.A.G's (Freaks and Geeks). I haven't encountered a majority of IT professionals who can prove me wrong. And yeah, still down with F.A.G's.
17) Habit : I am freaky observant; to the point that some would consider it as stalker-ish.
18) Fact : I am obsessive compulsive.
19) Fact : I have this tendency to hang-on to promises.
20) Goals : Im aiming to have less than 5% body fat. And I want it to be evident in the torso area. Damn excess skin... paging Dra. Bello...
21) Fact : Unlike most dysfunctional families, ours is more fucked up than the typical. Big-time. Guess which side?
22) Habit : Lately Ive been going to the gym to have lunch and have mid-day relaxation sessions with the yellow single-ton couch and the tv-lobby.
23) Goal : I have plans of world-domination. Well just to show all those who 'wronged' and 'bullied' me way back. Ha! Looks who's fat now. Yeah I may be gay - you got that right - but at least I ain't got a fat-ass and bad fashion-sense. Stuck ups. * teen-angst-mode *
24) Fact : I'm a late bloomer. It is only been a year since Ive truly stepped out of my shell. And so far, I'm loving every single minute of it.
25) Fact : I thrive on standing-out in any and every possible way.
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.
1) Fact : I am known by different names, brought about by different set of friends and environments; office pips know me as Ge, CSA and DLSU pips know me as GV, gym people (and some dates) know me as Daemon/Mon... but only a few people actually call me by my real name... well actually just one guy... =)
2) Habit : I pretty much run on a scheduled daily routine. I have to be somewhere or have to be doing a certain thing at a particular time. All extra-co's are planned ahead of time. If by chance that I run of course a routine, then it means that I enjoy the shift in schedule.
3) Habit : I'm an addict... a gym addict that is. Its my third home. To sum things up. I'm at the gym at most 6x a week, 3 to 4 hours a day (lunch-break visits excluded) on a weekday, and 4 hours on a weekend. Socializing usually takes off 30mins to an hour.
4) Fact : I'm a 'jack-of-all-trade-and-master-of-none'. I can do a lot of stuff - pretty much good at most, but never can excel in any of them. Go figure, why I'm always lost.
5) Goal : In relation to # 4. I always wanted to become an archaeologist/explorer. Ever since I was a kid, I've been fascinated with history (from dinosaurs to ancient ruins around the world). And would dream of one-day going on an expedition for NatGeo.
6) Fact : Still in relation to # 4. I consider myself to be artistic. Though limited in skill, I still somehow manage to amaze people with what I can do.
7) Fact : I consider myself to be an old-fashion-romantic. Despite the 'world' and 'culture' that I have grown accustomed to, I set myself apart by the 'ideologies' I live by. I used to entertain the thought of ONS, but the idea grew too old for me quickly - now Im more of into dinners,movies,dates and cuddling. =)
8) Fact : I used to not like going to bars. And I have to thank my brus' for tugging me out of my shell. Now, its like I long for it - as opposed to the idea of # 7. Its more of being seen at the right place and by the right people, and of course to dance like there's no worries in the world.
9) Goal : In relation to # 4. I'm a frustrated wannabee (read: celebrity/model/singer). Har har har
10) Fact : I'm a tech-freak. I'm addicted to tech and I got to have them all (read Motorola phones, Bluetooth headphones, ear/headphones, computer peripherals). Now if I only have funds to address this addiction... hmmm.
11) Habit : In relation to # 3. I'm on this 'diet' where I variously eat 2 spoons of rice to a cup (depending on the need), staple buttered mixed-veggies and microwaved produce (read: cold-cuts) for breakfast; filled (butter/peanut/tuna/ham/cheese) sandwich for lunch; oats, staple buttered mixed-veggies, microwaved produce (read: cold-cuts) and sliced fruits for dinner; in between those, I have a cracker or fruit as snack and have a staple herbal juice for breakfast and dinner, commercially-induced slimming drink for lunch, before gym and before sleeping - this I do only on a weekday, on a weekend, its a free-for-all.
12) Fact : My musical guilty pleasures are late 90's and early 00's boy-bands and girl-bands.
13) Fact : My movie guilty pleasures are cheesy tagalog movies; as opposed to public knowledge that I don't watch tagalog movies. But I still stand true to not watch local tv shows.
14) Fact : In relation to # 4. I consider myself to be a pretty much good writer.
15) Habit : In relation to # 9. I often find myself strutting/catwalking. The frustration just naturally comes out.
16) Fact : I hate 'strict' corporate IT life. I have this perception that most are F.A.G's (Freaks and Geeks). I haven't encountered a majority of IT professionals who can prove me wrong. And yeah, still down with F.A.G's.
17) Habit : I am freaky observant; to the point that some would consider it as stalker-ish.
18) Fact : I am obsessive compulsive.
19) Fact : I have this tendency to hang-on to promises.
20) Goals : Im aiming to have less than 5% body fat. And I want it to be evident in the torso area. Damn excess skin... paging Dra. Bello...
21) Fact : Unlike most dysfunctional families, ours is more fucked up than the typical. Big-time. Guess which side?
22) Habit : Lately Ive been going to the gym to have lunch and have mid-day relaxation sessions with the yellow single-ton couch and the tv-lobby.
23) Goal : I have plans of world-domination. Well just to show all those who 'wronged' and 'bullied' me way back. Ha! Looks who's fat now. Yeah I may be gay - you got that right - but at least I ain't got a fat-ass and bad fashion-sense. Stuck ups. * teen-angst-mode *
24) Fact : I'm a late bloomer. It is only been a year since Ive truly stepped out of my shell. And so far, I'm loving every single minute of it.
25) Fact : I thrive on standing-out in any and every possible way.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
F.A.G's @ work
As I slowly settle in my seat...Staring blankly at my computer...
Doing whatever is 'thrown' at me...
I slowly realize...
That people here are F.A.G's...
Well majority of them...
The ratio being 10:2...
That being 10 F.A.G's to 2 Norms...
I belong to the Norms (self-proclaimed)...
hahaha...
Goodnes...
Down with F.A.G's...
Down with the Freaks And Geeks...
Losers!
Monday, February 02, 2009
at this stage
im finding myself to be in a strange place...
theres a part of me that wants to give 100% into this...
but theres this air of uncertainty...
im just not 100% sure...
sure, i love the feeling...
but theres that thing i cant shake off...
strange really...
---
would it matter if you knew?
would you be affected?
theres a part of me that wants to give 100% into this...
but theres this air of uncertainty...
im just not 100% sure...
sure, i love the feeling...
but theres that thing i cant shake off...
strange really...
---
would it matter if you knew?
would you be affected?
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