.:: daemon

Clarity (originally posted on http://daemoneyes.deviantart.com on May 29 2006)

Ones talent can only take one so far.

Whether it be learned, honed or God-given, it can only take one so far.

There are alot of talented people in this world, only few are given an oppurtunity. Most, no matter how talented they are, are left to work in the corporate world or rot into poverty.

I am one of them. Left unsatisified, envious, depressed and unjustly treated.

I know for a fact that I am not as good as other people are. But when you get tomeet people who appreciate your talent, you get this feeling that you can be more than what you are, you can be a part of the chosen few.

---

It is now clear to me, that my talent alone cannot support my passion.

Yes I am talented. Boastful as it may sound, I am. I believe I am.

Besides, talent plus confidence... can take one farther.

Its a step farther from just having talent.

But still, it is not enough.

---

I am scared.

I am scared because I dont believe in myself.

I dont believe that I can make it in the IT Industry.

Its hard to be the best in your field when you know that your not the best.

Yes I know I can go toe to toe with people in my field. Only thing is, I know I can beat them outside this field, well most of them.

People in my field earn bigger bucks than I do because they now identify themselveswith the field. They accept that this is what defines them. That IT is their life.

But I dont see them as achievers or victors.
I see them as defeated individuals.

I see them without true ambition. Without true drive.

I see them empty.

I dont see the real them anymore.

They are lost. They cannot find their true selves anymore.

This is what I tell myself to make me feel better. To make me feel victorious.
To make me feel that, at least, I am a few steps ahead of the game.

But, as reality sets in... I realize that I am not.

I am not ahead of them. I am trailing.

It scares me even more.

It scares me that I will be the loser.

It scares me that I will be in last place.