.:: daemon

anyway before i start, this has been a weeks overdue... last last week, i had my hair cut short...

its been awhile since ive done short hair... and after have two weeks with it... i love it...

anyway heres a recent shot of me with my short hair...

* hay *

im back to wearing cream/gel again...

so what do you guys think? long or short?

---

so... my saturday was a bust... "badtrip"...

first of all bryan couldnt make it because of his training thingie...

second, well second... i finally learned the truth...

guess that was that... a couple of months wasted... * sigh *

and the worst part of that is i made a fool of myself online...

arrrgggghhh... * frustration *

and even if that werent enough i saw them waiting for a bus on my way home...

someone out there must really hate me so much...

and again, i cried myself to sleep last night...

i wanted to hold back the tears...

the tears won...

* sigh *

---

so waking up sunday morning, i wasnt really feeling that all great...

i was anticipating that bryan would cancel on his promise again so i got around to eat breakfast early and prepared my stuff for the gym...

after eating breakfast, i saw a text on my phone "beh im on my way there... blah blah"...

so i went around to quickly fixing the place up and took a quick shower...

prepared for something to eat.. and waited...

twenty minutes passed... and he arrived...

we just spent most of the morning wrapped in each others arm...

the rest... was well... ehrm some well deserved alone-time... hahaha

anyway... being with him always made me feel wonderful...

its like whenever hes beside me... i feel as if hes not going away anymore...

but it was different...

i cant really explain it... but it was different... different, not in a good way...

its like im ready to let him go...

maybe its just me training myself to be far away from him...

am i ready to have a "long-distance-relationship"?

there are alot of question that comes into mind when ldr is talked about...

honesty, intimacy, communication... things that i know WE both need working on...

im really scared for US...

what will happen in the next 8 months that we're not together...

everything is uncertain...

and it sucks...

---

* sigh *

going back... after having much alone time together... bryan needed to head back to pampangga...

it was a bit early for me... around 1230... so i decided to go the gym (with his permission of course)...

so i got to quickly dress up, fixed my gym stuff... and off we went...

i asked bryan if he could accompany me to the gym...

he was hessitant at first, but he complied...

now i know i had a hidden agenda... but i wasnt expecting that i would actually happen...

anyway got off the elevator, and the first person that i see is "him"...

i could just paint the scenario that we were in...

i dont know if it matters for "him"... but i want "him" to know that im still happy with my bryan despite all of our issues...

and that, well i might be eating my words but what the heck, im on the process of accepting the truth and hopefully, ill get over you...

i just hope that he realizes how hurt i was by what he did...

intenionally or not...

it hurts...

so much...

to feel that someone I LIKE could probably LIKE ME, romantically...

and have the world cave down on those feelings...

yeah it hurts...

---

* sigh *

so feeling that ive just ridden an emotional roller coaster... i wanted to treat myself with my guilty pleasure...

after gym, i headed straight for glorietta... i was so wanting to eat at Burger King...

i got around to order one of their burger/fries combo meal...

and...

well, the cherry on the top of the whole meal...

a BK Butterfinger Cream Cake...

|

* drools *

hmm butterfinger...

even after hours of eating the stuff, just looking at the picture reminds me of how sweet and chewy the butterfinger pieces were...

* drools *