.:: daemon

i really dont have any proof...

but from what ive heard...

i can say that...

"naging isa akong malaking tanga.."

ive been stupid ever-since ive known and had feelings for you... i still do by the way...

im stupid for putting myself out there making everyone believe that you were interested...

im stupid for allowing myself to fall for you...

im stupid for not listening to my friends...

im stupid, point blank...

i had a gut feeling that you were straight and yet, i made myself believe that you were otherwise...

you know, it kills me that other people have tickled you, have constantly approached you for small talk...

i knew that you didnt really like that...

i waited on the side-lines believing that if i didnt force myself on you... you would see...

but i guess, you wouldnt have even noticed...

because youre not one of us...

all this time, it seemed that my suspicions were on the dot...

you and her...

maybe its meant to be like this...

im stupid to say this...

but i feel that im going to cry myself to sleep... again...

and all the times that i have done that...

i have cried myself to sleep all because of a guy...

i hate myself for being like this...

i know im better than this...

but right now, it seems that everyones going away... everything doesnt seem to have a future anymore...

and i just dont want to let go...

for those who know me personally...

you might find this weird...

but as im typing this...

tears are flowing down my eyes...

---

"sige, you won... i guess tama ka pala... ambisyoso lang pala ako"...

i have to accept it...

this time i know i have to...