.:: daemon

i thought that i could count on you when im feeling lonely...

i thought that you'd always be there...

i know i was...

i was there when you needed someone to take care of you when you were'nt really feeling well...

i was there when you just need someone...

i always was...

but how come when you know that i need you... you turn your back on me...

you give reasons that i just cannot object too...

you give reasons that seem to have no loopholes...

i cant make you feel guilty...

never could...

you always have this way of turning the tables around...

and for the love of all thats holy, i cant put myself to get mad at you...

i think you know that...

you should know that...

we've been together for a year and a month now...

* sigh *

you know what all i ever wanted was someone to be there when i was feeling alone...

someone that i can hold hands with...

someone that i can hug and hugs me back...

its stupid for me to go "drama-queen" about the whole thing...

but three weeks of not spending those lazy afternoons with you...

curled up under your arms...

it just makes me weak...

i lose all drive...

i lose all interest...

and as if the things you do dont depress me enough...

there is this person who adds to the weight...

its not his fault... its my fault really... "lagi akong umaasa..."

until now...

"tanga ko talaga noh?"

---

change has to come...

if it means losing you, to find myself again...

and then to find you...

or the worst-case-scenario, find someone else...

id probably welcome it...

though i know it will bring me more sadness... it has to happen...

---

i need a hug...

from my boyfriend...

badly...