of infidelity, forgiveness and love...

as much as we say that we know how to deal with matters of the heart, there is really no guarantee that we can make our hearts behave...

and when it mis-behaves, we become illogical creatures...

all of us...

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infidelity.

the concept is all too familiar with me...

everyone involved should play their respective part in the situation...

for me...

the cheater SHOULD own up to his doings...

he/she does not have any right to put any blame on any of the cast...

the decision to 'dive' in to another relationship (sexual or otherwise) is solely on the cheaters head...

for them to turn the tables around, is a cowardly act...

infidelity is never bounded by age, gender, orientation or level of maturity... what they do about it whether caught or not can say so much about how they are as a partner...

the cheated SHOULD concentrate on healing himself/herself first before dealing with the cheater...

the cheated SHOULD accept that whatever the cheater did he/she did not have any part in why the cheater did so...

if there is a problem between the cheater and cheated, then things have to be talked over...

the act of committing a potential mistake to cover up a problem is just plain stupid...

the friends of both parties SHOULD standby on the way-side and be there to help either parties and trust and respect the decision of each party regardless of the circumstance...

friends have all right in the world to be over-protective...

they are our support system outside of our real families...

and as admirable their intent to guard their friends feelings...

it is equally admirable to trust and respect their decisions...

if one is in conflict with the decision, and that they need to voice out there opinion regarding the matter then it be best for them to express it in a manner that is not offensive to either party...

in this scenario, you avoid losing a friend...

in the case that the cheated has decided to be at peace with the situation with the cheater, then it be best for friends to be at peace too...

agitation would only frustrate the cheated...

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forgiveness and second (n) chances

forgiveness is a concept that is uncommon these days...

many say that they have forgiven, but haven't forgotten...

this, in my opinion isn't forgiveness...

to truly forgive, one must forget what has been done...

forget the act, but don't forget the lesson...

they are two different things...

forgiveness has to be given to those who deserve it...

in my opinion, forgiveness is for everyone...

regardless of the circumstance...

and I'm going to use the 'we-are-all-human' card here...

yes we are...

and neither of us are saints...

we all warrant to forgive and be forgiven...

to deny one of forgiveness is also denying yourself respect...

second (n) chances similar with forgiveness...

should be given to everyone...

everyone 'stumbles' down...

nobody is perfect...

but here's the tricky part...

this has to be given to those who deserve it...

how you'll know? well only those directly involved in the situation would know...

in this case, the cheated has to trust his/her instincts...

everyone else is playing on assumptions, perceptions and their own experiences to which may or may not be applicable to those directly involved...

if they are really friends, then one they, as i have mentioned, SHOULD trust and respect your decision...

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love.

it is a perfect imperfect...

it isn't really love if there were no imperfections...

trust.

the companion of love...

it is tested time and time again...

there can be no true love when no trust exist...

faith.

faith is the belief in trust...

it is the foundation of trust...

without faith, then there would be no trust...

"to love is to trust and to trust is to have faith..."