.:: daemon

its not a big secret that my relationship with my boyfriend is on the rocks...

i dont even know why...

its been 3 days already... and i still have no text from him...

i still dont even know why he didnt come-by last saturday...

a friend told me that "this might be the end for us..."

well maybe...

i dont know...

i guess im ready to let go...

but i know i cant...

i love my boyfriend too much...

then again...

when i weigh everything, the pros and the cons of our relationship...

the cons outweigh the pros...

* sigh *

i dont know...

i guess i have to wait and see...

---

on the other side of the fence...

with all my emotions being tossed from left to right...

im left to be vulnerable...

my "relationship" with you has been in a stand-still until a couple of weeks ago...

we started to catch each others eye again...

we started to talk, although not as much as we did before...

that was enough with me...

enough to make me smile again...

enough to make me realize that there could be a possibility...

maybe im just imagining things...

over-compensating the lack of "kilig" my boyfriend gives me...

today was no different...

i thought that this day would go by without me being able to talk to you...

we started to exchange smiles...

we started to steal glances...

i liked how it felt...

that was enough, really...

then came the icing on top of the cake...

with a silly silly way to start a conversation...

you invited me for something and i declined...

i normally wouldnt, but i was dead-tired already...

we got a bit lost in the conversation...

and it started with you saying...

"ang dami ng butas ng puso ko..." (yes... cheesy...)...

i laughed, chuckled, saying... "ha? what? cheesy... grabe..."

you walked away, laughing...

i was done with what i was doing...

i approached you... "hindi lang ikaw ang may butas sa puso noh.."

"di ko naman sinabi na ako eh... ikaw..."

then giggled...

i walked away with an enormous smile plastered on my face...

i tried hiding it... but i just couldnt...

i was "kinikilig"...

that word-spatter probably meant nothing... i dont know...

were you flirting with me? or am i just assuming again?

am i setting myself up to look stupid?

i want to ask you alot of questions...

what do you mean by that? the things that you said before?

would me saying that "i miss talking to you" affect whatever we have?

would me telling you the truth on how i feel change us?

theres alot really...

i want to take a chance... but its a big risk...

---

sorry bryan... i dont know why things between us are going nowhere...

i thought we had a future...

guess i was wrong...

i want to say sorry to you because, your giving me no choice...

each day that you dont text me...

each day that youre absent in my life...

your making me fall-out-of-love with you...

somebody is filling a void that youve neglected to fill...

im saddened by that fact... because its you, and still is, the one that i wanted to fill that void...

come back...

i need to know the answers before i take a huge leap...