i want to cry...
theres just a lot of things on my mind...
my parents bashing my "undefined" lifestyle...
my bf's sincerity...
my "complicated" outlook towards a guy friend...
my situation in general...
it just seems now that everything is stacked on top of each other...
i know that ive placed myself in a situation that im having a hard time to dig myself out of...
this is one of those times when i just want to disappear...
i want things to change...
but i cant...
i cant... because im afraid...
im afraid because im not sure of what MY future will bring...
---
sometimes i second-guess myself...
sometimes i wished that I wasnt gay... harsh fact of reality, i never was good for any girl...
now that im gay... i think im still not good for any guy...
i never was good for anyone...
---
i cant please my parents...
a couple of weeks ago, i found it funny to think that my parents were lecturing me on eating too much a year ago... and now they lecture me about not eating that much and that i "devote" most of my after-work hours in the gym...
theres just no pleasing them...
i hate my parents...
---
i want to disappear...
i want to go somewhere where no one knows me...
---
i miss my old self...
i want to be that person who didnt care what everyone thought about him...
i want to be that person who never cared for emotions... never cared for falling in love...
---
* i need a shoulder to cry on *
i cant cry on anyone else's shoulder but yours...
thing is, you're not here...
how i wish you were here...
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1 comment:
hay friend...i feel like you're more insecure now that you're "thinner" than when we were in college...
you have such low perception of yourself. don't sell yourself short. you have so much to offer. But you must learn to love yourself first.
*o diba, serious and sinulat ng lola mo! hehehe...
-pam-
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