the first of 26...

so the first of 26...

crashed and burned...

guess i should take the hint...

but 'you' know what hurts?

is that 'you' just never gave me a chance...

as always im left to assume...

there is no closure...

this is the first of 26...

great way of starting it...

positivity...

"If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don't give up
Who are we to be
Questioning, wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all just stand up"

- Just Don't Give Up (Various Artists)

i want...

was gadget surfing this morning...

and i came across this two lovely mobiles...


the first one is the Motorola AURA - one word... orgasmic (in all sense of the word)

if it werent for the hefty price tag, id get it... then again... that hasnt stopped me before...

but at its $2,000.00 tag... makes you rethink...

the second one is the HP IPAQ Data Messenger - ipod competitor? We'll see...

but it looks promising...

though my only concern is that its running on WinMo... hmmmmm

not really a WinMo person...

but still both are yum, yum...

* like a fat kid loves cake *

love...

"you know you are in love

when all sense of logic is thrown out the window

and the only thing working in your body is your heart"

...

strange how words go unspoken...

and actions says a lot...

there is hesitation on both sides...

that i can tell...

i dont know if you can...

but this i know, you saw me looking at you...

you saw me looking for you...

and so did i...

its not assumption...

its not something im making up...

not anymore...

though theres no sign of confirmation yet...

im believing what my heart says...

even though a part of it is saying the opposite...

come on...

your actions says a lot...

i know you feel it to...

i havent been talking to you for days...

been giving you the slightest of hints to make you feel that i see you...

but nothing considerably serious...

i know you felt that i was giving you the cold shoulder...

the mere fact that you do...

has to account for something...

i honestly dont know where the rest of the 8 days will take us...

im counting down to something that i probably will regret if everything turns sour...

"magka-aminan na kasi tayo"...

once and for all...

so that whatever needs to be started, will start...

or

whatever needs to end, will end...

ive fallen so deep...

and i dont know if i could ever get pass by that...

i wanna scream out on top of my lungs...

the three words that i want you to hear...

i just hope you would by my savior...

be my angel...

be the one...

a song better late than never...

a gem i found listening to PCD Doll Domination Extended CD...

and yes, it screams to me...

i should take the advice...

i need to love myself more...

i need to accept me more...

no more insecurities?

sure am gonna try...

---

Until U Love U
Nicole Scherzinger

I know sometimes when you see yourself
What you see yourself, is someone not good enough
I know there's times when you feel like, you can do nothing right
And insecurity takes a hold, obscures your vision of your soul
You can't see what's inside, open up your eyes

Take a look in the mirror, you're beautiful
Take a moment to love the one you are
Learn to accept yourself, coz it's the truth
Can't love nobody else, until you love you

I know sometimes it's so hard to keep up your self esteem
Sometimes you can feel so small
And it's so easy to tell yourself, you're not worth much at all
When you're unsure of who you are, and now it's tearin’ you apart
You can't see what is true, change your point of view

Take a look in the mirror, you're beautiful
Take a moment to love the one you are
Learn to accept yourself, coz it's the truth
Can't love nobody else, until you love you

Find, what is real is what's inside you
Know, there's no else in this world like you
Take, maybe just a little time to stop and see just who you really are

Take a look in the mirror, you're beautiful
Take a moment to love the one you are
Learn to accept yourself, coz it's the truth
Can't love nobody else, until you love you

Take a look in the mirror, you're beautiful
Take a moment to love the one you are
Learn to accept yourself, coz it's the truth
Can't love nobody else, until you love

Take a look in the mirror
Take a look in the mirror (ooh ah oooh ooh ah oooh ooh)
Take a look in the mirror (I’ll take a look in the mirror)
Take a look in the mirror (you’re beautiful)

Its a little bit too late
To stop my heart from this cruel fate

An unending cycle of love unrequited
Of hopes and dreams neglected

I knew well it would be like this
To have my heart on a miss

I have passed on countless moons
Thinking wed be together soon

But Ive missed the mark
And now I find myself in the dark

I'm left here wondering
was it all wishful thinking

A trick of the mind
That made me blind

I'm trapped and helpless
Struggling to get out of this mess

But there's a part of me
That hopes to see

Where this journey
Is taking me

There's no more turning back
Because its just too late for that

,,,

i deserve to be happy...

and im done waiting...

patience is a virtue, yes...

but i feel that its long overdue...

yes, im calling out on you...

fate...

why do you have it in for me?

...

...

i deserve to be happy...

right now im just not there yet...

...

...

and ive grown impatient...

...

...

hit me...

pls hit me...

on top of everything...

all directions are pointing to something good...

but as of now, theyre all 'assumptions' still...

until i hear it from 'the source'...

everything is dismissed to be just an assumption...

im half-way in convincing myself to take the risk...

its fear that gets to me...

fear of being turned down...

fear of the after-effect...

fear of just hearing what im not expecting to hear...

geez, what kind of a risk-taker am i?

* sigh *

in a few days time, i have to face it...

and im honestly not ready for the answers...

im here really hoping for the best...

whatever it is...

im hoping that its for the best...

title-less...

my saturday has been the craziest so far...

its been a crazy roller-coaster ride...

first, all about 'him'... saw 'him' at the gym... and well that made my day....

but later on during the last few set of my workout routine...

i got into a bad feeling of jealousy when i saw how 'he' and his ehrm *rolls eyes* client were interacting...

its weird, the jealous fit have been growing too much with regards to him...

maybe its because, the 'hope' that 'he' IS... is getting stronger and stronger...

* sigh *

second, my week-old phone got dented *screams fuck*...

although ive slowly accepted the fact that it has a dent...

thing is it still bothers me...

* sigh *

have to wait for the requested chassis part...

waaaahhhhh...

* screams fuck *

third, the brus were on rest-period this weekend... and eating alone felt really bad...

crap it... didnt really like it all....

though there was a moment of peace to it...

its something that i wouldnt want to be doing on a regular basis...

* looks around *

and lastly...

since the brus were on rest-period...

i have to thank sim and lance for keeping me company this saturday night...

i was actually hesitating to go to gov...

but, i let all worries go away...

and i just let the night take me where it can...

and im soooo glad to have met everyone sim introduced me too...

yey for circle of acquaintance (and ehrm... potentials... hahahaha)...

* sigh *

this weekend was sooooo 'bitin' in more ways than one...

seriously, weekends should be mandated to be five (5) days a week, and that the workdays should be two (2) days a week...

roflol...

cmeo...

crush...

so...

its the 2nd day of october...

ive got 20 days to do what has to be done...

waaah...

it has to be done...

i dont know if i can do it though...

* sigh *

---

chorus from david archuleta's crush...

...
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Goin away
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
...

yeah, sums up where i am right now...

fuck it...

homaygod!!!

ok, so my new baby is just a week old...

a ROKR e8...

* loves it *
* craves it *

simply stylish... nothing can be said more of it...

and yes, i bought it for how it looks...

and the 'uniqueness' of the mobile...

what say you commoners?

haha...

---

im a bit feverish today...

but that didnt stop me from doing gym...

which i think was a huge mistake...

hahaha...

* stubborn *

anyway, surfing on engadget...

my fever-ed body...

was jolted back to its senses upon seeing this...


now im really an ipod-boy...

love the whole simplicity and the plethora of accessories in the market...

am planning to get one by my bday (yey!)...

but upon seeing the gears of war special ed 120gb zune...



i changed my mind...

its visually orgasmic...

and its different...

in a sea of ipods...

im a zune...

hahahaha...

i thrive on being different...

being strange...

weird though that lately, ive been trying to fit in...

hay yin-yang...

hmm...

anyway...

i want one of these baby...

damn...

hmmm...

im gonna get one... for sure...