stuffies...

it is better to have 50% of something, than 100% of nothing...

...

i already decided to put it to an end...

but im reminded of why i took this long to tell YOU the truth...

...

...

i guess friendship is better than nothing at all...

...

then again, it just plain sucks to be JUST A FRIEND...

my 430pm mistake...

ive succumbed...

yet again...

i triumphed over temptation...

but only for a single day...

today, the temptation was just toooooo hard to resist...

the thought was haunting me...

i tried sleeping it off...

i tried to divert my attention elswhere...

but i just couldnt...

being human is not an excuse anymore...

thing is...

i guess i only am...

...
...

i finally give in...

to that little thing we call a subsitute for money...

that card...

...
...

spawn of satan you...

...
...

so today i gave in...

the temptation that is...

a new gadget...

...
...

finally, ive gotten myself a PSP...

...
...

o PSP, o PSP... my 430 pm mistake...

one liners

old habits die hard...

long stuff...

im finding it weird to be where i am right now...

- makes sense?

i dont know why...

maybe its just because i never expected to be here...

see, i never expected to meet other people, to which i can call friends, outside of my current circle...

i can classify myself to be both an introvert and extrovert...

i can be sociable... im not a snob...

hell, i dont have any right to be a snob...

anyway...

its been a good couple of weeks since ive formally met gym friends (Mark and Jason)...

and im really enjoying the company...

no offense meant to my barkada, but getting to talk with "my people" is really comforting...

you get to hear "my people" opinions about "my people" stuff...

so im really enjoying it for that, plus hanging out with them makes me feel that i belong...

---

anyway so last friday, after gym... me, jason, mark and james went out for dinner...

i thought that it was just going to be the four (4) of us...

it turned out that we would be accompanied by some other gym people whom i didnt know...

and to whom i classified as the popular kids...

ehrm. commercial... i have this tendency to make everything "high-school-ified", i tent to classify people as the geeks, the jocks, the cheerleaders and the popular-ones...

they too me are the popular-kids...

pathetic ba? hehehe

so the night went on... mark introduced me to them... i found myslef a bit akward...

im not really used to this...

good thing mark and jason kept the mood ok for me...

so, afte dinner, we called it a night at around 1030pm...

commercial again, on the way to the jeepney/bus stop... i spotted "him"... yeah of all the places... great? right? hell no... i just hate it when "he" is being displayed in front of me, and i freaking know that i cant do anything... *sigh*

---

saturday... me, mark uy, jason, mark and james were set to have dinner, watch a movie (Jumper) and go clubbing after...

too bad things really didnt turn out the way i imagined it to be...

first off, we decided to do a quick dinner at Big Buddha...

now knowing me, my ex and my college-folks, Big Buddha has been a part of our staple "date"/"gimik" diet... and they have never failed in the service area...

until now...

we got to order our food at around 830. so we expected the food to be served at 8 quarter.

At first, time didnt seem relevant...

but when the clock passed 845 pm... still no food... we started to get a bit worried...

and to some extent, aggitated...

so, unfortunately for us, our food didnt arrive on time.. it was around 900pm + when our food was delivered...

saddly we got pissed off the whole thing and decided to cancel the order...

well i guess thats the resto's fault...

but that still doesnt change my impression of Big Buddha...

anyway, the guys decided to buy snack-substituted dinners... me and mark opted not to buy anything as to we were still full from our earlier snacks...

so we got in just in time to see the trailers...

the movie was about two hours long... and as far as movie reviews are concerned, i say baaaahhhh to all of them...

i dont have anything against "hardcore sci-fi geeks"... i am one too... believe me...

i took the movie for what it is... it wasnt hardcore sci-fi, which was nice for a change...

and i really really enjoyed the movie...

though i have to say that i was a wee bit annoyed by the girl/s who kept on laughing eventhough there wasnt anything funny on screen...

one liners

tides a changing...

honestly...

i honestly dont know how to start this thing...

i want to talk more about you...

and it seems that you have managed to overrun my blog...

i want to stop...

and yet, i still want to go on and on about YOU...

the feeling is stronger now than ever...

maybe because of my unexpected singlehood...

yes my bf called it quits on us last week...

just a couple of days after our one (1) year and six (6) month-sary...

crappy... isnt it?

that tragic loss was never actually put into writing...

i never thought to write down what happened that day...

instead, i just want to go on and on and on about YOU...

maybe know i can justify what im feeling inside...

on my part, im all set...

its YOU that im just waiting for...

fuck...

its hard for me to move on...

especially with you near...

YOU know what, i was hurt when i saw YOU and your significant other held hands...

i know im head over heels in love with you, but i didnt expect myself to get "saddened"...

to get jealous...

bah go figure...

i like you...

a lot...

that counts for why i felt that way...

hell it counts a lot...

"ive fallen" for you...

i guess you know that...

...

i promised you i wouldnt...

i know i shouldnt...

but its just too strong too ignore...

hate me for it...

scold me for being hard-headed....

...

...

fuck it...

valentines...

14?

loneliness...

and you...

what a great combination...

wish i could skip that day...

Dear Lie...

Dear lie
You suck
You said you could fix anything
Instead I'm fucked
You made things even worse for me
If I had balls I'd tell you get away from me
Guess I'm not smart
I let you unnerve me
I let you control me
Afraid the truth would hurt me
When it's you that hurts me more

[Chorus:]
Get outta my mouth
Get outta my head
Get outta my mind
Stop puttin' words in my head
Get outta my mouth
You're nothing but trouble
Get outta my life
Get out of me 
Out of me (out of me)
Out of me
Out of me lie
Lie lie lie lie lie

Dear lie
You're dumb
You think you've got the best of me
You think you won
Misread my vulnerability
I've got your balls 
Now get the hell away from me
I've learned your heart
Won't let you unnerve me
Won't let you control me
The truth will only free me
And your lies won't hurt no 
No more

[Chorus]

Lie lie
I've got
Your balls
Now get the hell away from me
I learned your art
Won't let you unnerve me
Wont' let you control me
The truth will only free me
And your lies won't hurt no
No more

[Chorus]

Lie lie
Dear lie
Lie Lie Lie Lie
Lie Lie
Dear lie

---

appropriate aint it?

im selling a couple of backpacks that my aunt sent to me from the states...

i dont know why she thought i needed 5 backpacks...but thanks anyway...

so...

i gots around to like the other two bags (not shown)... and im selling the rest...

the brand is trans by jansport...

Php 750.00

Php 1,250.00


Php 1,500.00

-----

Dont know really about the pricing. But lets see if I can negotiate with them... =)

coincidental...

ok... you guys will probably laugh at me when i tell you how much i believe my "friendster" horoscope... great source, right?

but what my horoscope says for today cant hit the spot more than it should...

and it says...

---

The Bottom Line

Unguarded communication will be very fruitful today -- enjoy unexpected outbursts.

In Detail

Unguarded communication will be very fruitful today -- expect quite a few sparks to be ignited when people deliver unexpected outbursts! This is a new era of freedom in your life, so embrace it and let the chips fall where they may. Spending too much time trying to prevent problems is keeping you from being able to appreciate the beauty of accidents. Sometimes, things just happen for a reason -- and it's time for you to learn how to let them!

---

new era of freedom?

trying to prevent problem?

things just happen for a reason?

wow, how more appropriate can you get...

farewells...

paalam na...

---

i guess this was what HE wanted...

im sorry that IT has to be this way...

scared...

scared...

i honestlly dont know how to feel...

is this a test?

or am i really destined to... ?

please, whatever it is... i hope that i'll get through this...

we'll get through this...

thoughts

if this is really the time

...

...

the reality of you leaving is slowly sinking in...

and i honestly don't know how to feel about it...