ive been exceptionally happy for the past two days...
today its but at all different...
today, i went on a good 30 minute run around Makati...
getting back to the gym, and checking my phone...
0 messages received...
so i proceeded with my workout...
a good 30mins after, i checked my phone again...
still 0 messages received...
i must have probably done that repeatedly for the next 3 hours...
as i was fixing up...
my phone vibrated...
it was a message from my dad, looking for me...
"great", i sarcastically said...
got home, had dinner and fixed up...
still no messages...
even up to now, my phone remains lifeless...
---
if i would count the number of messages i get in a day...
i would roughly place it somewhere along the ff...
- 2 to 6 messages from globe
- 2 to 5 quotes from friends
- 2 messages from dad looking for me
- 10 to 20 messages from friends about casual conversation...
right now, this is where i count the most damage...
- 0 messages from possible dates...
- 0 messages from a non-existent boyfriend...
- 0 messages from people about inviting me out...
this post is so shallow...
but it points where my priorities are...
it points what im thinking about the most...
even with the multitude of REAL friends i have...
i feel sooooooooooooooooooooo lonely...
i feel sooooooooooooooooooooo forgotten...
i feel sooooooooooooooooooooo taken for granted...
its always been like that...
i just havent grown accustomed to it...
im waiting for numbness to set in...
---
it frightens me actually that i become jealous and angry about seeing/hearing
couples...
ive always been hopeful...
but lately...
i think life has forgotten me...
---
so this is what it feels like...
to be sooo alone...
helpless...
and forgotten...
---
good god, im such a schizo...
this is being bi-polar to you...
and i really really hate it...
=(
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1 comment:
this is from a blogger who, sometimes, also feels the same way you're feeling.
it's not that bad..you still have your friends, and based on my own experience, having friends can help alleviate the loneliness you feel.
hope this helps.
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