looking back

ok...

see here...

despite all my drama about NO guy liking me...

well, i guess there's no truth there...

there are...

those who see me in a different light...

trust me to appreciate them...

i do...

i have this guilt whenever i unintentionally hurt peoples feelings...

anyway...

lately it seems that most guys who i have left 'hanging'...

have found someone...

it leads me to think that this is kharma for being too choosy...

for having too high standards...

true...

i do...

its no excuse to say, but ive always set 'HIM' as the basis...

'HE' is the standard that i compare guys too...

yeah, guess im not over him...

i never really was...

'HE' has everything that im looking for in a guy...

besides the physical attributes...

hes funny...

hes real...

hes humble...

hes dedicated...

and i think id feel safe with him...

the sad part is...

everything i feel isnt mutual...

holding on to 'HIM' hasnt been alot of help...

in meeting new guys...

in moving on...

i try...

believe me...

guess what im trying to say...

looking back...

i havent moved on...

yet..

i just dont know when ill be able to...

or who will be that one person to make me forget about 'HIM'...

* sigh *