the same old story

its the same old story...

meet someone...

exchange messages...

set up a date...

still more exchanges of messages...

occasional calls...

go on a date...

exchange pleasantries...

and if by some stroke of luck,

you end up making out or more...

after that, you think everythings ok...

you think that this guy is different...

and that its all going to work out well...

then things change...

there are no more calls...

there are no more exchange of messages...

they disappear of all a sudden...

some come back and give you excuses...

and eventually you become just friends...

while others don't even care at all..

this has been my story...

my same old sad story...

* sigh *

giving up

ive never figured myself to be the type who would give up on love

ive always been hopeful and has always believed that my time for love will come

but ive been hurt so many times

that im blinded with all the negativity

and

hopelessness,

and im hanging on to hope with a single finger...

im just about ready to give up...

=(

irony

funny how the word gay is used to describe people like me

and yet we find ours 'kind' sad most of the time...

unchanged...

funny how time flies so fast...

people grow-up..

people change...

some get married...

some have kids...

some chase their dreams...

some become successful...

and yet i find myself standing in the middle of it all...

unchanged...

i seem to be stuck in this hole of contentment...

im not...

i feel helpless though...

because whatever i do, i just seem to miserably fail at it...

im no total failure...

i have 'small' achievements in life...

but compared to what MOST have...

im at the bottom of the pack...

and what ive achieved so far...

are but mere specks in the bigger scheme of things...

i am unchanged...

and i wonder...

when will i turn the corner...

i need change...

a drastic one...

i need one fast...

mistakes

i could cry with every mistake ive made but mistakes are there to remind us how human we are and how better we can be

- daemon