Bryan,

Theres so many things that I would have wanted to do for our anniversary...

I had it all planned out in my head...

We'd go somewhere where we can be totally alone...

free from all the worries that we normally think about...

At night, I would have wanted us to have a romantic dinner...

Just so you could see this "other" side of me...

Then Id give you my gift...

And you would love it...

And you would kiss me...

* hay *

Its too much to hope for that now...

Seeing as how circumstances have led us here...

But I dont have any regrets as to why things didnt turn out the way that I would have wanted too...

No matter what angle you look at it, this may sound cheesy...

But what I really really find important is spending time with you... beeing with you...

Its something that we just dont have much off...

So every moment that Ive spent with you, and every moment that I will be spending with you...
are treasured memories...

Ones that I want to hold on for dear life...

Ones that will be always in my heart...

---

You know me better than anyone else...

You've seen my ups... you've seen my downs...

And I dont mind showing them all to you...

You are that ONLY ONE person to whom I shall show, not only my strength, but my weakness as well...

And for that, I have to say thank you...

for putting up with me...

for every wrong thing that I might have done...

Thank you baby, for still sticking around...

And thats what makes me Love you more...

---

Its been a year already since we met...

And I have fallen head over heels, deep in Love with you from that moment...

I never expected that someone like you will make me feel like this...

So again... thank you.

---

Weve been through alot this past year...

Sacrificed alot...

All I can say, so far, it has been worth it...

Eventhough we have hurdles in our paths...

We try to overcome them...

And I know whatever will come our way...

We can face them head on.

---

Thank you for sticking around for this long baby.

I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH.

I knew what I was getting into..

And yet I allowed myself to go through with it...

Yes, it was stupid of me to assume...

Cant blame me...

I was just hopeful...

I guess now...

Its just right that things have to be this way...

Though theres no comfort in the thought...

I have to accept that fact...

aha!!!

got ya...

you gotta love the world wide web...

i dont know if everything was a lie...

between me and you, i can say that i have fallen deep in love with you..

maybe its just a test of what we have...

maybe its a test whether ill believe in myself, believe you or believe them...

im hoping that what they say about you are all lies...

thing is, its hard to ignore when some of them are true...

i wish that it would be you who i would be holding hands with forever...

but you make it so hard for me...

to think otherwise...

i am blinded by love...

maybe its the thought of "having someone" that keeps me hanging on...

or maybe its the the fear of being alone again...

or maybe its just that I LOVE YOU too much to let go...

i am hurt...

to think that what they say about you might be true...

---

i checked on you to see something new...

what i found made me sad...

i was hoping that whatever i am going through, the decisions that im about to make...

i would see you at the end...

maybe i just expected to see you there...

you make resisting you so hard...

i tried to convince myself that we are just but friends...

but breathing the same air you breath everyday makes it hard to think that...

i wished that i met you earlier...

but i guess even that would make everything useless...

because i know you're not like me...

now, i try to convince myself more that what we have is just friendship and nothing else...

i try. . .

but im failing miserably...

i expected at my own assumptions... knowing the fact that you are probably not like me....

im trying. . .

but i find it so hard to let my brain take over my feelings...

---

there is just too much going on inside my head and my heart...

i wished that i knew how to tackle each of them...

im scared... as always i am...

funny how you turn the tables around...