weekend bore + office people commoner = crap

im glad its over...

well, it was quite a welcome change...

ei? not really...

* from this point, conscience checks out and "bitchiness" checks in *

i would rather have spent my first weekend with my bf...

would rather have spent it working out...

but noooo...

my first 2008 weekend was spent with a bunch of stuck-up, so serious, old officemates (say for some)...

which entails me to miss two (2) days of gym, and a day of "alone" time with my bf...

* curses *

I HATED IT... really...

Maybe Im just good at "pretending" thats why I looked like I enjoyed it...

But I really really didnt...

I mean come on, the real purpose of our excursion could have been achieved in the offie... on a regular work-day...

achievements? plans for the year? team-building?

yeah right...

i dont give a fuck...

id have more fun reading a book than being there...

fuck...

I just hate where I am right now...

most of the people in my department sucks...

theyve got no ounce of class...

theres no one "nice" to look at...

theyre all just frumpy...

frumpy, commoners...

i sound so conceited... dont i?

well im that...

got a problem with it...

* screams with frustration *

beh moments...

about you

ive been doubting how you really feel about me...

eventhough we've been together for a year and four months now...

i still cant help but doubt you...

maybe that explains why i leave myself open to fall for other guys...

its not an excuse to as how i feel for the other one...

anyway, this blog aint about the other one...

you, somewhat proved that you really love me...

i think... * scratches head *

so... today, we went out...

it was one of those dates where there wasnt any "concrete" plans...

had a good conversation over dinner...

funny stuff...

though i had moments where i could see myself roll my eyes...

just didnt show you...

we then had coffee...

and the good conversation continued to flow...

then silence...

you sipped your hot tea...

i took a bite of my choco-banana cupcake...

then you asked me...

"beh sino pa nag *** sayo?"

a question that caught me off-gaurd...

rolled my eyes, sighed and said... "kaw lang naman... di ka ba naniniwala?"

he begs off to explain why he asked such question...

we reached a point when he said...

"eh nagseselos naman talaga ako eh... di ko alam kung ano ginagawa mo pag di tayo magkasama..."

seeing the way he looked, while he said that...

i can say that he was sincere...

either that or he's just a really good actor...

but from where i was standing, he was sincere...

we stopped the conversation before things get heated up...

i was surpirsed...

its the first time that i heard those words from you...

awed...

rattled...

so you do really love me...

was a bit bummed out after...

we didnt even get a chance to hug, or kiss, or...

the space, the time werent just right...

i miss kissing your lips...

i miss your breathe touching my nape...

* crap *

why does my weekend have to be taken away...

stupid work stuff...

* sigh *

one more week to wait...

hopefully by then we'll make up...

we'll really make up for lost time...

...
...
...

and oh by the way...

sorry for everything...

belated happy 16th month to us...

I love you baby...

how things turn out...

i know my blog has been over-run with drama for the past few months..

i just cant help it...

if i dont find an outlet for the things inside me,

who knows what kind of stupid things id get myself in to...

so please indulge me on yet another (and a few more future entries) dramatic post...

please...

---

funny...

today we didnt just seem to cross paths...

i dont know if its fate or its just you avoiding me...

i accepted that today was just a normal gym day for me...

no interaction of sorts...

sad.. a bit...

then you come "barging" in...

and of all the places...

i wondered about your "alibi"...

about you being there...

assuming as always...

it was nice to hear you say those words...

complimenting how i look...

complimenting what i was wearing...

thank you...

its not that often that id hear that from you...

* crap *

and there we go again, another revolution in this circular road we're on...

when will it end?

or will it?

or will i allow it to end?

or will you allow it to end?

* sigh *

---

i was browsing through pex...

saw this posted under one of the topics that i usuall go to...

it kinda sums up what i want to tell "him"...

ano kaya magiging reaction mo ...

kung sabihin ko syo na crush kita..
kung sabihin ko syo na miss na kita...
kung sabihin ko syo na hinahanap-hanap kita...
kung sabihin ko syo na gusto kita lagi kausap...
kung sabihin ko syo na gusto kita lagi kasama...
kung sabihin ko syo na may nararamdaman ako syo...

ano kaya magiging reaction mo...?

...
...
...

so... ano magiging reaction mo?

hot...

fuck...

its freezing cold here...

good thing i stumbled upon this cosmo interview during jake cuencas shoot for the cosmo bachelor bash...

hahahaha...

this post is so random...


hay jake...

* drools *

stand still

its a brand new year...

im expecting for things to change...

im expecting for me to move on...

but how come, after seeing "you" awhile ago...

i feel as if "our" situation will forever remain in a stand-still...

it felt like, we'll keep on playing this game...

arent you tired?

i am...

but what can i do...

nothing really...

i am nothing but a romantic fool hoping for something that will never ever be...

i need to stop...

i need to start the ball rolling...

i need to move on...

* bangs head with nearest hard object *

seems to me that this is the only thing that i cannot do...

everything else seems so simple...

but "you" have proven to be a burden...

one of which im finding it hard to believe that i cannot think of letting go...

* slaps self *

wake up daemon... its a brand new year...

this is no time to stand still...