randomness part 1

the past few weeks have been pretty hard on me...

maybe... i dont know really...

theres alot that has happened thats really testing me...

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im at that stage of my life where i dont want to spend my weekends stuck in the house...

i used to love the idea of just staying in for the weekend...

back when i was with someone...

but it leave it to me to screw things up...

yes i take the blame for that...

but i know i shouldnt...

anyway...

so ive been going out for the last couple of weekends...

one weekend was spent with college friends...

one weekend was spent with gym friends (well in a way)...

and a majority of those was spent alone...

at first, saturday nights alone were good... it brought me back to those days

when being alone was good... (did that make any sense...)

but two weeks ago, i hit rock-bottom...

it was around 9pm when i started fixing up to go to gb3...

got there at around 930pm... parked myself in seatles and started to read...

it was actually relaxing...

until my eyes wandered away to the people around the coffee shop...

i dont know if fate was 'teasing' me...

but there were alot of guys (straight and PLUs) with dates...

and how i envy them...

the night didnt really go well for me...

i ended up going home around 12am...

alone,

and

depressed...

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