giving up

ive never figured myself to be the type who would give up on love

ive always been hopeful and has always believed that my time for love will come

but ive been hurt so many times

that im blinded with all the negativity

and

hopelessness,

and im hanging on to hope with a single finger...

im just about ready to give up...

=(

irony

funny how the word gay is used to describe people like me

and yet we find ours 'kind' sad most of the time...

unchanged...

funny how time flies so fast...

people grow-up..

people change...

some get married...

some have kids...

some chase their dreams...

some become successful...

and yet i find myself standing in the middle of it all...

unchanged...

i seem to be stuck in this hole of contentment...

im not...

i feel helpless though...

because whatever i do, i just seem to miserably fail at it...

im no total failure...

i have 'small' achievements in life...

but compared to what MOST have...

im at the bottom of the pack...

and what ive achieved so far...

are but mere specks in the bigger scheme of things...

i am unchanged...

and i wonder...

when will i turn the corner...

i need change...

a drastic one...

i need one fast...

mistakes

i could cry with every mistake ive made but mistakes are there to remind us how human we are and how better we can be

- daemon

the good guy

id like to believe that good guys get what they justly deserve...

but the world doesnt work that way...

in this fucked up world, good guys finish last...

and commonly (borrowing something from Batman: The Dark Knight)

if youve been the good guy for a long time, you end up seeing yourself

throwing the towel and just turning your coat over and be the bad guy...

=(

i wish the world would just flip over and things would change...

i used to be a good guy...

and lately...

i dont know what i am...

* sigh *